Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fuck appropriateness.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
