Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Girls should come with a carfax report
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize