I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
