i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize