Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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