we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
