why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
