That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
