At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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