I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
