He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
