Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
