OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
