oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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