I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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