She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Even my vagina gasped.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
