god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
