man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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