i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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