I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
