after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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