in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
