you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
