Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to calm my uterus...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
