i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize