I have demons in me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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