pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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