I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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