i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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