if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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