I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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