some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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