How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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