Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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