Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
