Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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