We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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