He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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