Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
