She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
