accomplished twins. life is a go
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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