After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
