It's like God shit irony all over that family
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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