garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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