i just had sex bonerless
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
