whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
