Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
