Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
