You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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