Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
