I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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