I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
