So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
