Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
