in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I skipped work to stalk him.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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