my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish you could order shots online.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
