It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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